“Making friends can be incredibly daunting, no matter what age you are. But the older we get, the more difficult it becomes… This is where Dr. Miriam Kirmayer comes in.”

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“We tend to talk about the same topics over and over, and meet at the same places at the same times. There’s nothing wrong with that, Kirmayer notes, but novelty can open the door to deeper bonds. “Carve out moments of conversation where you can go off script,” she says.

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The trick is to understand what yours is. Here’s how examining your earliest bonds can improve any relationship.

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“We know what we’re comfortable with, but we don’t always communicate that as clearly as we think we do.”

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“Whatever the reason is for the dissolution of a friendship, the common thread is that we often don’t know if we should have a conversation with that friend.”

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“We often expect others to initiate, says Dr. Kirmayer. And if they don’t reach out or follow up, we tend to interpret that in ways that add to our sense of discomfort and disconnect.

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“There isn’t just one ‘right’ way to socialize and getting caught up in this narrative can increase the anxiety that comes with networking, small talk, and making friends.”

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